It has been 5 years and a couple of months since I started this blog post - that right there says a lot. And well much has happened...
I have had my fair share of blogs before this, but they never lasted. I fell into the victimhood of people pleasing and self-doubt was my best friend. I care more whether people would read what I wrote and when I saw I had two views I would delete my account...Those days are behind and well now I could care less if anyone reads my post.
Why has this blog lasted? Well, I established my why, which has helped me maintain my blog. When began this blog post I was dealing with some deep ish-insecurities had consumed my life. Couldn't afford therapy, I struggled with vulnerability, and I hated journaling. So I did the best next thing I knew and liked, free writing. I blog because when I age and memory starts playing against me, I can come back to this. When life is lifing, someday it's good to look through some of my posts and remind myself if I got through that, I can get through this. I have also realized that when I have processed something in my life, I tend to free write about it as a way to assure myself that I have healed through that. I am in a good space to share part of my story.
After about 5 years, I have decided is time for a change in how I write my posts. This year I have realized what works for me. Like I said before I am not a fan of journaling, but there are also parts of my life I don't want to air to everyone. So when my sister instilled this idea in me, I gave it a try and I loved it. My mind battles a lot of thoughts, I am that person who is always thinking about something- my 3 am and isolation be rough. I needed to process my gap year and rewrite my personal statement but had no idea where to start. After confiding in my sister, she told me to do a voicenote. I tried it and I haven't gone back. If I have ideas, I open the Voice Memos app and record what is in my mind. My thoughts are at war, open Voice Memos, and record.
So what does this have to do with my blog post? Other than recording voice notes, I love letters (writing & receiving) though I seem to write more than I receive. I have to decide to turn my post into letters.
Welcome to Dear Letters, where we will unpack my thoughts, drop some wisdom once in a while, and just free-write.
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